It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
