There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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