I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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