I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
