guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
