just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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