I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
