im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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