Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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