I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
