She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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