i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
