just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
