I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
