Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Who died my cat blue again?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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