This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
