Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
