Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
