If i come over, it means nothing
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
