What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
