Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ks4375 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small

Fav 138 998 4402
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.

Fav 9 3538 1475
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!

Fav 12 3905 1157
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

Fav 5 1645 846
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.

(360): View more from Washington

1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you

Fav 9 2761 762
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger

Fav 0 581 630
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(718): View more from New York

We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas

Fav 2 871 522
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.

Fav 1 548 209
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(682): View more from Texas

For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...

Fav 0 14 30
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT