; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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