HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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