Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
where are you?
Hypothermia
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
