Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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