i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize