i just made my gag reflex go away.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
