I will die if light touches me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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