I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
