Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
