To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
