that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
