just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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