would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
