Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
