I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
