you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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