their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
