I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
