there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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