Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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