Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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