i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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