I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
