I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He did a backflip because drugs
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
