If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
