using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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