I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
