and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
