i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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